Television Runner-up Pillows

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Birthday To-Do List

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

Inactive wear store.

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'

"I'm going to binge watch all 600 episodes of my favorite show. I'll talk to you in a few weeks."

"Lock-downs have certainly contributed to our growth as a couple."

"I guess the tux is just another brave act of resilience. I also spilled beans on my sweats."

Stress Prison - The fictional jail you imagine being sent to so you can catch up with Netflix and reading.