Television Quiz Addict Pillows

Your big moment on Altra Gameshow

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

Big screen TV falling through floor

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Is anything good on?"

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

The cradle of mankind

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'