Television Addict Pillows

'Changing the channels is not part of sharing the housework.'

'As soon as you're finished watching that car show, can you give the waiter your order?'

We interrupt this news service to bring you an important light entertainment flash

The Influence of TV

"I'm not so ready for interactive television."

Stephen Fry

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'We've been picking up your television broadcasts, and we're here to buy some of those neat steak knives!'

"It's alright Dear I've arranged counseling!"

Shoot the tv.

Magician taking a break

"Relax, you'll be out of here and back up on your couch in no time."

First cowboy: 'This town ain't big enough for the two of us', Second cowboy: 'Sure it is, Bud. It's widescreen ain't it?'

"It is a tossup between the devil you don't know and the devil you don't wan to know."

"Since he discovered fire, he's done nothing but binge-watch."

"Are you binge watching again?"

"I don't know why we watch this rubbish!"

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"He goes through the TV listings deleting all the 'trash' I like."

"I never thought I'd actually miss the Kardashians."

"I watch sports on television. Does that count?"

"Ha! I love slapstick comedy."

"The Four Ages Of Man"

"Want to get out of this dump and go watch television forever?"

Hot New Talk Shows!

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

We interrupt this breaking news to bring you breaking news! About half an hour ago, we interrupted "The Price Is Right" to bring you breaking news. An elderly "Price Is Right" fan emerged out of nowhere and began pummeling our news van with rotten eggs. Our newscopter is bringing us video of the lady chasing our van. What is that she's driving, Chuck? I believe that's a Rascal Scooter, Ted.

Exercising in front of a tv was fun until we started fighting over which news channel to watch.

Spud-u-Likely Lads.

"My husband's lost some interest...can you tattoo me into a giant remote control?"

1 week only! OKRA...Oprah's Opera

'This is National Public Television, under fierce attack from the extreme right....'

'We interrupt our regular programming to bring you the football season....'

'And you were the one who didn't believe in evolution!'

'...This is the Ten O'Clock Report, brought to you by the Eleven O'Clock Report....'