Television Quiz Addict Prints

Your big moment on Altra Gameshow

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Stephen Fry

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Big screen TV falling through floor

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"I'd like to buy a BOWEL."

NOVA. Don't worry --- The "vacuum of space" is not that kind of vacuum.

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Our next contestant is Mildred and her specialist subject is "Other People's Business""

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Can't Touch This

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's General Douglas MacArthur."

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

"Is anything good on?"