Television Crew Pillows

Broom Operators Deserve Better

The morning show for people who HATE mornings

'Sorry, it's packed with t.v crews doing links.' ( LONDON EYE )

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

TV jester.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"And by president we mean the one on Saturday night tv, not the real one. He kinda sucks."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

"Downton Abbey Road"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

Local News in Heaven

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Police film evidence

Next camera crew 5 mins

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

'I love this street...it's so real man...'

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Miami Mice

Hollywood producer.

'Mixed day on Wall Street. Economic indicators were up, but executive bonuses were down.'

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."