Telethon Fan Gifts

'Frankly, your only hope is for Jerry Lewis to hold a special telethon.'

Extinction of the dinosaurs fully explained

Applause

Best before 65 million BC.

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Now stay tuned for 'Hope - Myth or Reality', to be followed by 'Reality - Hope or Myth'.'

"You spoil those pterodactyls!"

Dinosaur Group Think

Rating the Sunset

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Dad, will you play judge and tell me if Raymond or Joey is the father of my baby doll?"

Chickenspox

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

"I told him he was allowed one phone call. He's making a pledge to Channel 13."

"Emotional breakdown! Call Oprah!"

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

'Don't worry, Dearie -- when you've been married as long as I have, your forehead will recede, too!'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'The E.S.P. phone: "Hi! I'm on the train."

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.