Teleradiologist Gifts

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Pregnant women having a ultrasound done.

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

Wilhelm Rontgen's first attempt at X-rays: shining a bright light through Madame Rontgen.

"A CAT scan? Are you sure?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Cat Scan

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

'Gee!' (doctor looking at x-ray)

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'I'm afraid this doubles your bill.'

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"We think we got some good CT scans, but unfortunately they're encrypted and our I.T. guy is on vacation this week."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Everything is going to be fine, Mrs.Witzer...'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Moo-Magrams Exams

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'Luckily, it doesn't look too serious.'

'I think you'll get a kick out of our 'haunted' MRI, Mrs. Hanratty.'

Look Mom! I'm cat-scanning!

"The x-rays came back, and — I'm sorry, but we found a very large attachment."