Radiologist Gifts

"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."

'This one didn't turn out either. You must've moved.'

'I'm pretty sure he's been s-q-u-a-s-h-e-d...'

"I want you to lie as still as possible while Lyle and I take our lunch break."

'Some people find the MRI chamber claustrophobic.' - 'Oh.' - 'I call those people 'the lucky few'.' - 'Ah.' - 'Whatever you do don't think about being buried alive.' - 'Gah.' -

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'...by doubling up on patients in the MRI, we're able to cut costs in half...'

'OK, Mrs. Dunn. We'll slide you in there, scan your brain, and see if we can find out why you've been having these spells of claustrophobia.'

'I want a second opinion.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"No, I'm just squeezing in a bit of work in between interruptions."

"Looks like it could be depression."

'He's been kind enough to stand in for us, until we can afford a new x-ray machine.'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

"Judging by your X-rays, I'd say you've been exposed to too much radiation."

'Could you maybe fax a copy of this to my radiologist?'

'Just as I thought. You have bones.'

'I'm a stay-at-home teleradiologist.'

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'Having all this information on my patient's diagnostics is great, but I think I need a degree in data analytics to sort it all out...'

'I'm afraid it's stupidity. And it appears to be spreading.'

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

'According to the films, it appears I've left an instrument inside you. Luckily, I can fix that in Photoshop.'

X-Ray and Mammagram

'Boy, you really are stuck! What do you do when this happens in a chimney?'

When handing radiology over to artificial intelligence sounds appealing.

'My insurance won't pay for an MRI!'

"Relax, Ms. Jones. I'm just X-raying this gift from my brother-in-law to see if I should re-gift it."

'My Insurance won't pay for an MRI.'

Radiologist family photos.

Sonographer and pregnant couple looking at images of the fetus on a screen with options to share the image on various social media platforms

'Which one do I get in?'

",,,,the bad news is that you're radioactive."