Teleportation Theorist T-Shirts

'Unfortunately, the aliens who abducted Leon had a 'Catch and Release' program.'

"You left this on our ship."

"Call me?"

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Jason and the Aga notes,

'Take me to your computer.'

Pentagon Science Contest: '...It's a contest by the pentagon. They're gonna pay out half a million bucks to someone who comes up with the best idea on how people could travel to another solar system.'

A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.

"After finally discovering that we exist, you would think you would have something more important to ask than if we had Roku."

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

Robot Attack in Bath

If only I had noticed the cow in the teleporter, I'd be accepting the Nobel prize now!

Anglo-Russian Trade Rivalry in China

When a nanosecond is forever.

'Of course we're not going to experiment on you. We needed another hand for our bridge game.'

Above a fisherman a flying saucer hovers dangling a worm on a hook.

"Ramses II was here."

'Time? Time's relative.'

Alien Shopping List: Milk, Bread, Bin Bags, Earthling.

I knew we didn't have enough blocks for this thing.'

'Did you try rebooting?'

"Hey, not so fast - I'm abducting her first!"

'You ask him to sing. I don't speak Italian.'

Astronomers argue theories of the Universe.

'You may find a few things have evolved since we abducted you for our research.'

'faster!'

'I'd steer clear of them on the forth of July!'

"You're quite the pick up artist!"

"Flying saucer-shaped unidentified cigar"

If time is money, why the hell isn't space money?