Time Transition Theorist T-Shirts

"I always forget. Is this the day we spin ahead one hour?"

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Jason and the Aga notes,

"Can that be right?"

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

"And from Newton's second law on rigid bodies it can be shown that force equals mass times acceleration...I'll show you."

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

When a nanosecond is forever.

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"Oh I don't think it's as bad as all that. In fact, I think we're in the golden age of something which we won't even realize it's the golden age of until many years from now."

"Ramses II was here."

'Time? Time's relative.'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

Man in a desert looks up to see a sand timer sprinkling sand below.

'Did you try rebooting?'

'faster!'

"I forget now... am I babysitting you or are you babysitting me?"

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

'Half past zen.'

Railroad Crossing. It's the last official weekend of the summer, Ernie. For me, summer has always been like a passing train. When I was a kid, both trains and summer went by at a leisurely pace. Ding! Ding! Ding! Now that I'm much older, summer is like a modern bullet train ... it's just a blur that seems to be gone in an instant!

'Have you got the time?'

If time is money, why the hell isn't space money?

Assisted suicide.

Time Machine Assassination Squad

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

"Dad, how does Santa Claus visit all the children in the world in one night?"

"It's right now, but what happens when the clocks go forward?"

Psychiatry. I can't stop myself from holding grudges against humans. It's just your nature. Time is unforgiving to all people.

Trash Time

Wall St. Journal. I was at the right place, but I slept through the right time.

Man Angry at Clock

Fish in a bowl counting time.