Telenovelas Pillows

When Tia Carmen says... "This is the most important day of my life!" it means...the final episode of her favorite telenovela airs on TV.

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

When Tia Carmen says... "Oh my god, no!" she really means... "They killed off my favorite telenovela character!"

"It looks like the only time I can fitness walk is at 7 pm...when my favorite telenovela starts..."

"So I bet you watch a lot of novelas on Spanish TV?"

"Between my wrestling show and your telenovela we got a pretty good program!"

"Tia Carmen, your telenovelas are nothing but macho men fighting over beautiful women! It's the same story every day!"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'There's nothing on.'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

TV-Man

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Time Machine Collision

Tree house.

TV jester.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."