Telecommunications Technician Pillows

'Who are you calling 'oldtimer', sonny?!'

"What good does it do to send signals to someone who just scrambles them?"

Before we can bring you ocean sounds, our business office will bill you for wireless roaming charges.

"I can't hear the dial tone."

'We won't have wireless until 2015, but we've made available a pay phone with a three-mile cord.'

'Hi. You ordered wireless internet, a phone landline and digital TV. I'm going to live with you until I'm satisfied it's up and running.'

Aerial Birds.

"We're literally standing next to the satellite, and I still can't get a signal!"

Auto Dialer

"Barnes kept complaining about having no cell service in his cubicle. Apparently, he took matters into his own hands."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"Der, dad. . . it's wireless!"

"We think your telephone is a great invention, Mr Bell, but is a bit basic. How about adding a phonograph to it?"

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

'What does the internet have against my people?'

'Your plasma screen TV needs a transfusion.'

'The boss said things have to improve or my job is going to run out of minutes.'

Do your emails stand out from the rest?

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'It's engaged.'

"We've induced the stem cells to grow into a fully functional, organically embedded communication device. We're calling it a 'cell phone'."

Networking

"Come in, Wilson. I've traded my phone for some booze. Just another unexpected consequence of the breakup of AT&T."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

'I don't know what it is. I think it's some kind of old-fashioned cell phone.'

'Jack, I'm on a conference call right now.'

"You get the feeling that it's trying to communicate with us."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.