Teenage Experiences Gifts

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"I want to be a stand up comic, but life's not crap enough."

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Three more years of high school."

The Brothers Grime

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

PROBLEM AREAS

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

Fishbowl rebellion.

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Teenage Angst.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

This year I'm a different person. I'm starting school as the new, cooler me. Way to go, Twig! Diner. Everyone will notice the change. It feels kind of risky. I've never worn my hair down!

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

"I'm you, from the future, here to deliver a witty comeback line."

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

Pubertry

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

' I see Brad's playing his new video game again.'