Teenage Crush Humorist Pillows

"Look what Sylvia Sanchez wrote in my yearbook! I didn't know I was so special to her!"

"He's an indoor cat."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"Dad, it's not a homing pigeon, just a canary on an elastic band."

Hoody Woodpecker.

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

"RUN! Here comes the long arm of the law!"

'Davey can't come out! He's got the weasles!'

"Do you really think this will work?"

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

Good study habits based on honesty will serve you well all your life! Employers look for trustworthy people who don't cheat! Values Assembly. Who's she talking about? It sure doesn't apply to me. I'm going to be a hedge fund manager. Yeah? Well, I'm headed to Hollywood!

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

"These gas prices are crazy! By the time I'm old enough to drive...I'll only be able to date girls who live within a 1-gallon radius."

'Jeremy, you disgusting little pervert!'

'I need a haircut...maybe I should enlist.'

"This is the dumbest idea ever! I'm just gonna call Estella and ask her what's up."

'Just where do you expect me to sleep? Your closet's full of junk and have you looked under your bed lately?'

'Mom, when did your beauty start to slip?'

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

"When I first started school all I wanted were A's but since hitting puberty I'm far more interested in D's."

"I can't wait till I'm old enough to hold my nose and vote."

'Bring your birth certificate when you pick me up - My Dad will want to see it.'

"It's so early in the year, and that English teacher…. She's already up in my grill."

"Typical teenager-straight for the burger bar."

Thought bubbles and speech bubbles

'My lab partner wants a prenuptial agreement!'

Ryan Beardsley is a deadbeat. Why are you stuck on him? I'm not stuck. He leads the good life by sponging off the raise and avoiding work. I didn't know that! How cools that he's a man of leisure!

'Life isn't fair. Just when girls get interesting, they get taller than us.'

I'm being cyberbullied. No way. Someone posted my face with a Justin Bieber haircut. Chillax, dude. The hot girls did it to half of the guys in our class. It's cyber flirting. Wow! Glad I wasn't left out.

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"