Teen Romancer Gifts

"Our little Timmy is growing up! He's recycling the mistletoe for Valentine's Day!"

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"He's gone goth"

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Social Networking.

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Playground reputation.

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

The 5 paragraph essay is sooo stupid. Why do we have to learn it? So you can get good SAT scores. That will get you into a good college, and then a good job. So you never have to write another 5-paragraph essay again.

'When you're in love, it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life!'

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

Spring Break.

"I failed my driving test...apparently I shouldn't have been texting!"

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

Mrs. Tree? A hockey ball hit your daughter. It's likely just a bad bruise. Whew! Though there could be a fracture, nerve damage or fatal blood clots. What? Don't worry. Our medical advisor is evaluating Twig right now. Can you sign this liability waiver? Her hand seems fine. Team lawyer.

"Stop smirking, it's just an expression! You know perfectly well what I mean when I say I'm putting my foot down and you can't go out tonight!"

'You don't either have a date with Dora the Explorer!'

"I can't believe this! All these filthy messages on your cell phone! And so many of them! What is it? 100? 500? 1,000?"

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 4

Funny Farm

'So what shall we do - Get married or blow up the school?'

"Lisa, your playdate is here!"

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

'What does the word ‘Face' mean in this sentence: 'He was only trying to save face.' A) The front of the head. B)To look at something. C) The surface of a solid. D) Dignity.

He loves me...