Teen Romance Navigator Gifts

Luci's Sockpuppets: 'Do you have one for kissing practice?'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

...In a Relationship

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'