Teen Romance Navigator Gifts

Luci's Sockpuppets: 'Do you have one for kissing practice?'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

"Take it easy, honey. Beneath that terrifying rage is our twelve-year-old daughter. My GOD, when will the wi-fi go back on?!!"

Mine Shaft of Love.

'He's not so much a rough diamond, more a dumb block of carbon.'

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'For many months, you've been preparing to enter the sea of matrimony, and today, you walk the plank.'

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

...In a Relationship

"Merely dating" "Lover's leap" "Undecided? Take a hike"

'Come now - surely we can draw up this pre-nuptial agreement amicably.'

Bumper Cars of Love.

'But Mom, can't I just skip puberty and go straight to mid-life crisis?'

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

"Tunnel of 'Like-Like'"

Chez Bistro. Let's go dutch tonight, Francine. What is this? An "unfunded man date"?

"Daddy's still up - I can see him loading his shotgun."

I wonder what the kids are up to at the lake. Your mom will keep her eyes on them. She won't let them get into trouble. Nothing gets by her! ZZZZ. Psst. My silence isn't free!

"Look, like I keep telling what's-her-name here, we don't have a marriage problem."

"To be honest Marsha, when I first met Ted, I couldn't stand him. Then, over time, he just seemed to grow on me."

Another Hot and Heavy Night of Explaining

"I just really wish things could go back to the way they were when we met last Sunday."

'My dream boat has turned out to be an anchor dragging prune barge!'

'I like you and all, Adam, but I'm 'Graphic Novel' and you're just so 'Comic Bookie'.'

"First, you will meet Mr. Hot. Next, you will meet Mr. Cool. Then you will meet Mr. Right."

We're incompatible. I'm a woman, he's a Pig.

"How's this for a romantic moonlit interlude?"

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"