Teen Outgrowing Parents Gifts

Son measuring his father against the wall.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

Curious George, Dad

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"They grow up so slow."

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

The swamp of adolescence

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

The surrendered mom

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"The new computer system has arrived, and Benny here is going to help us jump the technical hurdles."

'Did you feel that??'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'It's making me happy.'

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"Too bad teenagers don't have a chrysalis stage."