Growing Teens Gifts

"Papi, more Hispanic kids than ever before now live in poverty."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

The No No No's

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Okay mum, I'll eat it all up. But I doubt I'll grow big and strong on this muck!'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Mom said eat everything in moderation, so I renamed the cookie jar 'Moderation.'"

'Dad, I know all about the birds and the bees; explain stock-swaps and derivatives.'

'Son, the world is ripe for the taking ... you better stay home with me.'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"You used to be a lot more fun."

'Wow Dad, I'm growing fast: Soon, my tongue will be as long as yours...'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I can change! I swear!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Beware of the teenager.'

Teenage Angst.