Teenage Growth Gifts

Nyah! Everyone has a boyfriend except Twig! Teddy! Stop! Who cares? I don't need a boy to validate my self-worth. Very mature! I'm proud of you.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Beware of the teenager.'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

No cell phones, tv or internet for a week. It's creepy. What's that annoying sound? Silence? It's awful. I can hear myself think!

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

'And where have you been all day young lady? Your mother and I have been worried sick!'

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"Flippin' eck Mandy, don't your parents ever go to bed?"

'… and another thing … the only reason you know it's my birthday to begin with, is because we were all born on the same day!'

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

"Thank you. Now we'd like to do our big hit -- I Can't Wait to be 16'."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'