Teenager In The Family Gifts

'I don't know if there's a word for it, but it's the opposite of multitasking.'

"The new computer system has arrived, and Benny here is going to help us jump the technical hurdles."

Spot Check

'Teenagers!'

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Two

What are you looking for in a college? A strong environmental program. Ok. Pick 4 or 5 we could visit. I've got 3 days for the trip. There's one in Ohio. Can do. One in Maine, Iowa and California. You need a good geography program. Here's another one. Where's St. Paul?

'Oi son, you're not going out dressed like that.'

Did you let the global warming skeptics into eco club? Yeah. It went fine. We agreed to work on today's environmental problems. We don't have to wait 50 years to clean up toxic waste dumps! Amen.