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'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

The Scarecrow Gets A Brain From Igor

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'It's a horror-comedy.'

"Santa's not been happy with your behavior in class and says, get it together or your Christmas won't be merry!"

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

I want to be a lawn!

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

'That was a great movie! Want to watch another video, dear?'

'Which way to the 'Waterworld' exhibit?'

'I'm sorry Donny...I can't get you any work. The studio says you're just too much of a stereotype.'

"Aaaaa....Chooo!"

Vanity Publishing.

'Stupid teacher! - I have to do a report on a book that hasn't even been made into a MOVIE!'

'06 Graduation (The March of the Penguins).

What I'd really like to do, of course, is direct.

Stars Without Make-Up.