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'Mom took all the good rebellion stuff.'

'If sex is a game I'm scoreless!'

'Dad, I've beached myself again: Can you come and pick me up?'

Science Dept...Entomology: 'Too bad humans don't spend their teen years in pupa like insects.'

"First, the disclaimer: I'm a doctor portraying an actor portraying a doctor."

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'You can't keep a middle school girl from wanting to impress boys, Valerie.'

'We've decided to babysit for you, while you go out to a late-night show.'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

Woman and cats watching Nine Lives to Live.

"I wish school was more like TV."

'He must be serious,mum - he's taking me out again tomorrow and there's football on television.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'That's Cat from Eastenders.'

Plan B

"I think it's important to remember that he isn't gone forever. He's still alive. He just played a character on TV who died."

"I don't blame you for everything - I blame Dad for some things, too."

"Do you have any get well cards for characters on soap operas?"

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

"So your dad trusts you to study with a girl in your room."

"Anything you say will be taken down and edited for 'Crimewatch.'

'If you've gone off him, please can I have my chewing gum back?'

The peer review of your video consultation was fairly negative...but the good news is that it's got you a bit part on Emmerdale.

'I watched ER and now I'm getting a second opinion from Chicago Hope.'

'Casualty, Take one' clapper board traps persons finger

"Thank goodness you're here, officers... Quick, change the channel. I'm missing my favorite soap opera!"

"I said a goodnight kiss, Rodney! Not snog my face off!"