Ted Talk Aspirant Gifts

"What's the point of living if you're never asked to give a TED Talk?"

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Straying from the subject, Danny, is not distance learning.'

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

"You're putting up too many walls Hadrian."

Cartoons showing a speaker, with a teddy bear projected on a screen behind them. The speaker says: "welcome to my TED talk."

" ...And now, for today's TED Talks ..."

'He knows a few words, but he can't really process them yet.'

"Son, I think it's about time we had the TED Talk."

"Mother, please!"

"I'm here today to talk to you about the dark side of outsourcing."

"Isn't there a TED Talk he can listen to about the birds and the bees?"

"Worst TED talk ever"

'That's what I call a workout! One hour of walking and 2 hours of running our mouths.'

"Do you ever feel like every TED Talk winds up being about the same thing?"

'Hello, I would like to talk to somebody.'

"Now, when I say the magic words 'I saw this interesting TED talk about...' You will fall into a deep sleep and remember nothing of our conversation."

"Seriously! My mother says she remembers when all you could do with a cell phone was make calls."

Unpublished Authors of the Big Bangs Theory

Fortunately there was an interpreter for those who understood sign language.

"Now tell me more about your fear of speaking in front of an audience."

"I dozed off- is he talking about bus shelters or tax shelters?"

"Welcome to my TED talk."

"He binge watches TED talks about getting the upper hand with cats."

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.

"Wow, that was short. You only talked for 45 minutes. What happened?"

Word up!

TOM