Ted Speaker Gifts

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

They hated me.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'And in conclusion.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

Communication Breakdowns

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'You've probably heard of me. I'm an author, consultant and lecturer in the fields of authoring, consulting and lecturing.'

'What's the chance of getting a latte around here?'

Giant screen displays conference delegates and not the speaker.

"I'll pause for a moment so you can let this information sink in."

'Assuming present trends continue, the odds are quite good that we'll become the best-informed extinct species on the planet!'

"In closing, let me tell you that never in the universe have I spoken before such an attentive audience."

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

". . . and I wish he's shut up for a few minutes!"

"My lecture is about our short attention spans and what a lovely day it is I should be walking but tomorrow maybe I’ll cut the grass..."

The Anatomy Lesson

"When I said tart up the presentation, I meant the slides..."

"Heredity and environment play a role but what really shapes who you are is tax policy."

Santa Claus Always Delivers

"But before we begin, this from legal, 'Be careful what you wish for.'"

Cartoons showing a speaker, with a teddy bear projected on a screen behind them. The speaker says: "welcome to my TED talk."

'Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker! Mr. Speaker. . . He didn't show up for work today.'

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

Geography is still fascinating, thought Bob.

" ...And now, for today's TED Talks ..."

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.