Technophobe Troubleshooter Gifts

"Nurse, hitting the top and yelling 'work, you piece of crap!' doesn't even help with computers. It helps even less with patients."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

Torn-Off Mouse.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

Grandma's caf

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

"GPS? In my day, a newcomer learned to find his cubicle by memory."

"It was a dark and stormy night, for the Wi-Fi was down."

High speed cinder block

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Recalculating

"Hey! Get back here!"

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Do you have 4G up here?'