Techie Troubleshooter Gifts

'Hello, tech support? I suppose you could say I'm having trouble with some of my software!'

'You want to discuss the glitches in the software I sent you? No, Tuesday's out - how about never - is never okay?'

The Importance of Data Backup.

No Wi-Fi in Hell

Great news. I got an iPhone. Shut up! You did? Is it not awesome? It is not. Huh? You mean it is awesome or it is not awesome? Yes. Let us begin again. Is it not the greatest device of any kind ever invented? You're making no sense. My point: I hate the iPhone. You're making no sense.

'I was using a program to help me manage my teaching load.'

'Password, password - come on memory!'

STRIP Hambone: Direct line to IBM

"What? You've already tried turning it off and on again?... Well hey, we have vacancies here in tech support if you're interested."

"My smart speaker's not!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Tossing computer into canyon.

Computer Expert

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

Torn-Off Mouse.

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Well, none of the other options worked, so we installed a power cord on him -- if he starts going haywire again just unplug him and wait 30 seconds.'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."