Technology Weary Gifts

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"Hey! Get back here!"

For some reason, whenever they're around me, they get out their phones.

Pensioners and Phones

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"#skydiving"

"I miss the old days."

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

'Couldn't you just leave that here until we're sure the new system works?'

"This is why I hate bringing you shopping."

Love Hate Computer Relationship

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"I'd be happy if I got half the attention and was half as clever as my kids' smartphones."

'I'm worried, the software that can replace me is becoming more affordable.'

'The professor can read hieroglyphics on ruins and in tombs but he can't read text messages on his cell phone.'

We know your e-mail address!

Tech stocks rose on news that 98% of the population are addicted to gadgets.

'Want to bet they're more VHS tapes when we've got a Beta System?'

Enjoy our cell phone free ambience.

'I haven't felt this giddy with freedom since I turned off my Blackberry!'

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

'Letters, letters, letters - why can't you learn to text?'

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

"I asked our tech support to escalate me to the next level...they transferred me to a suicide hotline!"

'Your father can't come to the phone right now, he's stuck in his ways.'

"I thought I'd gotten away with it, but with technology's advancements it's only a matter of time before they find out about that term paper I plagiarized."

"No, no, don't crash. . . I forgot to save my document!"

Protection from technology

Radiation Babe

A "club"?--- but you know I'm a technophobe.

"My smart-phone has big ears. . . we have one little quarrel. . . and I start getting pop-up-ads for counselling therapy."