Tech Weary Wanderer Gifts

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

iPhone Senior

"Bloody GPS-plotter is going silly again!"

'Welcome to I shell.'

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

"It keeps track of how long you've been wearing workout clothes without actually working out."

'Remember when we would come to the beach and not delete email?'

'What I'm up to? The usual dude, just roaming the plains: There's nothing else to do...'

"Hey, Siri. Remind me why I married a man who couldn’t find his way out of our driveway."

"I hear the ark has no Wi-Fi. I think I'll take my chances here on land."

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

"Your cell phone isn't bugged by 'Pegasus'? You're not important enough. . . you loser!"

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

"The following program contains technology terminology. Millennial guidance is advised."

"I wonder what our phones are doing right now."

I don't think I'm ready yet for the information age.

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!" "That's the TV remote, Roy."

Here's our cabin. Isn't it spectacular? It's awfully quiet. Exactly! No traffic. No motor boats. No malls. Not even any bars! No bars?!

"I'm sending you back to elementary school so you can get your computer skills up."

"It's horrible! In this driverless car, Al can now devote 100% of his time to road rage!"

'When it comes to texting, I'm all thumbs.'

"Get off the internet and get a life."