Lost In Technology Gifts

"Well what does the GPS say?"

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Hey! Get back here!"

"Could you fellas tell me if there's anyplace around here where I could find a fax machine?"

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

'I hope it's fixed soon. I miss the convenience and friendly beep.'

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'It isn't that we don't have high technology. We don't have any technology.'

"You have reached your destination (for the 4th time tonight, I might I add?)"

"Judging by all the hair you've pulled out of your head, I must be hard to teach technology to than I thought."

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

I hate blind carbon copies when the computers are down.

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

I know it's been ages since my last confession, but I trust you've been getting my texts?

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet...where the hell am I??"

"Every time I say this computer is supposed to be 'user friendly', it lets out an evil laugh."

'Michael, go in there and help your father before he throws another tantrum.'

Hell has no wi-fi.

Egyptian Laptop.

"It keeps asking me if I'll accept cookies... I'm not even hungry!"

'Bob's served the company as man and boy, and as cantankerous old moaner who doesn't understand IT.'

'Remember when the chat room was just the dinner table?'

'What do you think about that tweet, Grandpa?'

'Stop following me. I want to be incommunicado!'

'We roughed the camping - No BlackBerrys.'

The Thumbs Have Had Enough: "I'm, like, hello, we evolved so you could pick stuff up, not so you could scroll yourself into oblivion!"