Technology Salesperson Gifts

'To prove we only sell the latest products, we guarantee we'll be selling a new model by the time you get this one home.'

'This is our new line of PCs from the Komodo Islands. As you can see, each one comes complete with a 36-inch monitor.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In the Guru District

Larry's used art

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Toadstools

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."