Computer Sales Professional Gifts

STRIP Hambone: 'Its an egg timer'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

It would be a painful forty five minutes before Arthur finally admitted he left his presentation at home.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Dog eat dog.'

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'How would you like your toast?'

'Wow, are all these desserts for here, or are you going to stuff your faces in the privacy of your own home?'

'It feels warm enough to me.'

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"While you make the sales presentation, Monica. I'll scope out the room and try to identify this company's Achilles heel!"

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Sad boss: "This one pretty much sums it up."

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

Corporate Darwinism

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'I don't want to talk to any flunkies. Put me straight through to the computer.'

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

and this little light starts blinking when your computer becomes obsolete

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"Ah, the waiter ... And I was beginning to wonder if we really existed!"

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'