Technology On The Farm Fan Gifts

'You were right: There's a needle in this haystack...'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

Yoyo sheep

'I'm here to fix your robotic milker.'

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"This isn't the big city anymore, Jim. I'm the facilitator now."

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

"Just a harmless little genetic experiment," they said. Yeah, right...

"Geoffrey's seasonal. I'm regional."

'Remember to eat your 500,000 a day son!'

"I know you're a cow, but you're still hogging the covers!"

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

'That's cow. What do cows say, Jimmy? Cows say moo. Look Jimmy, a chicken.'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

"I'm an ass is half-full kind of donkey."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Free Range Eggs - ""I've decided to sell up. I'm having trouble making hens meet."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"One of your delicious ducks got into my yard yesterday."

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

You can always tell animals trained by 4H kids.

'Is it true you're covered in genuine pigskin?'

"Hello? JS electrical? It's about this flat screen television I purchased from you."

'To be honest, Bo Peep only lost us for about fifteen minutes, but never let the truth get in the way of a good story...'