Technology-free Lifestyle Gifts

Sell me your souls and I'll make all cell phones and computers go away."

'Where would you recommend for a tech-free experience.'

I.T. Fear

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Whatever!

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"C’mon, Sara. Like you wouldn’t consider – even for a second – accepting an iPhone from the devil."

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"They grow up so slow."

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

"I bet you kids are all losing your minds without a wi-fi signal."

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

"Nope. I came here to relax and not check my messages."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

"Anywhere that doesn't have TVs, computers, radios, ipods, cell phones, or video games."

Although I loathe you with a passion, I've decided to put you in my will. I'm rich! On one condition. Name it. Your inheritance cannot be spent on anything that blinks, beeps, buzzes, charges, flashes … boots up, plugs in, takes batteries … Whoa, hold up … emails, downloads, texts, web-surfs, or in any way prevents you from getting out in the world and interacting in person with other human beings. It can't be spent on any of that nonsense … but … Yes? … But it does have to be walked twice a day

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

"Isn't this nice? No screens. Just the majesty of the here and now."

Birthday anticlimax.

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"It says it's sick and tired of telling me to update my software and if I don't do it right now it's going to explode."

'If you don't have a TV, what do you arrange your furniture around?'

"It's a book, dear. It doesn't need any batteries."

'I haven't felt this giddy with freedom since I turned off my Blackberry!'

Enjoy our cell phone free ambience.

Welcome To Utopia - No phones Past This Point

No Phone Signal For 20 Miles. Trauma Counselors Standing by. . .

'He won't email, text or tweet. He's so inaccessible!'

"I wonder what our phones are doing right now."

Here's our cabin. Isn't it spectacular? It's awfully quiet. Exactly! No traffic. No motor boats. No malls. Not even any bars! No bars?!

'Away from it all, but with no annoying cell phone break-ups.'

'The invitation says, 'Sorry, no children or cellular phones.'