Technological Developer Gifts

'They're waiting for the wheel to be invented.'

The buck stops here

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

In the Guru District

The Computer Bore

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

"Meet the author"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Ascent of Machine.

Bright idea

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"I bet you're curious about what's going on in the R&D Department."

Back to work...

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

Friday

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"While you were working on fire, I was working on my satellite. Once we figure out how to launch it into the heavens, other inventions will follow, like phones, GPS, weather predictions. . ."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

Artifishial Intelligence

"My mom programmed my toothbrush to follow me until I use it. It's cruel but effective."

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

"What did you download at school today?"

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'