Tech Startup Developer Gifts

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"I have no toys just yet. I have a concept of a plan for toys...toys like no one has ever seen before."

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

Coffee Shop and Battery Charging Station

"Never mind devices - we need to establish a 'bring your own funding' policy."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

S.S.dot.com

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

'We haven't the foggiest what it does,but it plugs into a computer and retails for three fifity.'