New Tech Startup Gifts

"Give us a chip."

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'Can our software do that?'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

US v.s. Tech Giants

'Ideas.com' desk with a 'come' tray and a 'gone' tray.

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Boom

Internet.

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

"Ambitions... to open an office on Mars. Kennedy Space Center."

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Otto the SmartyCar!

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"

"You're just gaming down there? Shouldn't you be issuing your first IPO for some billion dollar internet enterprise you've created?"

'Those are my twins: NASDAQ and Dow. They were born at the height of the dot.com boom.'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Kentucky Fried Horse

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

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