Start Of Tech Venture Gifts

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Welcome to the future"

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

'Can our software do that?'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Go! Means NOW!

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"So, what does everyone think of XX81's suggestion for increased funding into AI research?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

US v.s. Tech Giants

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

'Think of this as a window of opportunity.'

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Money Plant.

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"I wrote this one after my third startup failed. It’s called ‘I Got Yer App Right Here.’"

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

"I appreciate your vision and work ethic but I have a budget. How much would it cost for your vision without work ethics?"

"Gentlemen, may I present our company's future. A buggy whip... with Bluetooth!"