Technical Thinker Gifts

'Well sure, if you want to get technical about it.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

The Computer Bore

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Math Dreams

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

Sigmund Freud.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Gadget geek.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."