Techie With A Short Fuse Gifts

"IT says they can't solve your problem... I'm from Anger Management."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Tech-support has confirmed it. Screaming and hitting the computer won't solve the problem. You'll have to try something else."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"A watched file never loads..."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

2Recalculating..."

'Ms. Haskell, as we transition to paperless, do you think I should carry a briefcase or laptop...or both?'

Computer Jobs

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'Please, everyone, stand back to give the register some air. We've had a glitch.'

"Do I put google maps on driving or walking directions?"

"I miss the old days."

'Try rebooting.'

"The good news is a major company has noticed our website. The bad news is they're accusing us of copyright infringement."

"I'd eat him, but do you know how hard it is to find a good tech guy?"

In case of computer breakdown break glass

Robot with a sense of humour.

Social Media Traps

"My computer crashed. . . to the ground when I got frustrated and threw it out the window."

'I know the computer's slow, but this really isn't a better way to enter data.'

'She posted her first blog today.'

Divorce lawyer "Then it's final, you get the computer as you requested and your wifes gets the house, car and everything else"

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

"These kid computer games are so hard to learn that I've decided to skip my second childhood."

WIFI connections

"I couldn't find the problem so I've relabelled it instead."

"If you want proof that your email is working again, then you can read all the spam you just received."

'For an English translation of what the tech support person says, press 2...'

"You feel like throwing your computer out the window? Sure, as long as it's fully depreciated!"