Techie Chuckles Gifts

Witch sends Friend Requests to Hansel and Gretel

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

"Our records show that you unsubscribed to our company's e-newsletter. We need to have a little talk."

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

Don't use your dog's name as a password

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! What's that malfunctioning machine? It's a "Justin Beeper"!

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

"Do I put google maps on driving or walking directions?"

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

'He's our Spam expert!'