Techie Chuckles Gifts

Witch sends Friend Requests to Hansel and Gretel

"Talk nerdy to me."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Your car should run fine now. I reformatted the hard drive, increased the ram, scanned for viruses, updated the firmware, upgraded to this year's processor...'

"He's been using the new virtual reality data viewer and climbing bar graphs..."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Let's see if I understand: your brain can't be upgraded with additional memory, and to make matters even worse, untold thousands of those brain cells die each day?"

'Is that computer, down there, the one you were having problems with?'

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor

Don't use your dog's name as a password

'I'm sorry, but we are after a different kind of Web expert...'

I hate getting ready for Y1K.

STRIP Hambone: 'Can't you programme this thing to laugh at my jokes?'

'The number 1 dinner is available in an updated version 1.1.'

"You've got to compress it because my email account is limited to 3MB."

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"This tone means the battery is low. This one means you've just driven over a pedestrian. And this one indicates that someone sitting near you in a coffee shop is about to grab your phone and stuff it down your throat!"

"No, it isn't a mobile. It's my pipe."

"We programmed it to behave exactly like a human... it never stops complaining."

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

'Don't disturb your father when he's in stand-by mode.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

Entering silicon valley, speed limit: 110111