Tech Whispers Gifts

Social Networking Anonymous 12 Step Program.

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'I hate PowerPoint.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

WWW.World.com

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

"Blimey, he's not the sharpest tool in the box, is he?"

Cellular Plan

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

"I just got an alert from our smart refrigerator. It's pleading with us to not stick anything else on it."

Man in office smiling in delight as various office equipment dances for him

Enraged by Wikileaks reports of CIA domestic surveillance via home electronics, Della Dinkerbonker fights back.

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

'My Turing Machine doesn't understand me.'

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'Sorry, dad, I'm so busy chattin' with friends I just can't work.'