Tech Watcher Pillows

'I fear the role we formerly allotted to God, has been partly superseded by CCTV.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Tree house.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

It's a Dog's life

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

Information Security

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Busy, Busy, Busy

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'I got my degree by watching JEOPARDY.'