Tech Watcher Pillows

'I fear the role we formerly allotted to God, has been partly superseded by CCTV.'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

Tree house.

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'Och lye the news'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Tech stocks rose on news that nerds are now considered 'hip'.'

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"Or we could turn on the TV and let younger, more beautiful people have sex for us."

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

It's a Dog's life

"Then we agree. 10 minutes of your news, then 10 minutes of mine."

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'According to the latest reports, there were no earlier reports.'

"So much for finding intelligent life on this planet."

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

"Today, in all aspects of life losses outnumbered gains."

Information Security

'All the guys like Sophie. She has a touch screen.'

'... and in a startling development, 5 Supreme Court decisions were overturned by Judge Judy...'

'The sword in the stone was just a warm-up - now you must remove this remote control ...'

"A Ms. Ramona Bissell of West Allison, Vermont, writes, 'What the hell is going on?' We here at WVCN think that question deserves an answer."