Tech Upgrade Skeptics Gifts

Very old fashioned computer.

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I.T. Fear

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

Privacy

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"I got connected to the internet!"

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

Domestic Spying Drones

"Tarzan no want computer."

Diner is served

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

The anti-social network: 'Hey Jeffrey...I need help setting up my dad's anti-social network.'

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.