Tech Transition Observer Pillows

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

Lost job due to downloads. Please help.

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'This is suppose to be progress.'

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Sorry for calling them 'graphics', Mr. Burke. I meant the 'colored pictures'.'

Bookshop: Closed, Coming Soon Here Internet Cafe.

Fries with that Burgers: 'I lost my job to robot in Japan.'

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"What really grinds my gears is by this time next year, I'll look exactly like you."

'Before you come in for the interview, you might want to check our website.'

Closed for winter. Reopens March 21st.

Skinny P. monitors the compliance of social media standards.

3D HD TV

Call Your Mother- $2.00

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

After 15 years Mike was released

Annals of Technology: The first crude drinking straws appeared in ancient Egypt around 1200 B.C.

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.'

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

'Ever feel like the screens get bigger but the entertainment doesn't?'

"Our capital investment budget wouldn't stretch to replacing you with a proper good robot."

Handy Pre-made Notes for Modern Life

Vice President for Obsolescence

"You say I need to start using a slower speed?"

"Who's the new guy?"

'He's a man of few words. He doesn't even use all his Twitter characters.'

'We're trying to get him used to e-mail by putting it in a familiar setting.'

Then - 'It feels so odd talking to a disembodied voice.' Now - 'It's so nice to actually speak to a human being.'

"The problems will remain the same, but apparently they get wordier and wordier."

No need to retune.