Life Transition Observer Pillows

"The problems will remain the same, but apparently they get wordier and wordier."

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"Life: play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, play, school, first love, brief happiness, breakup, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, w

'Long shift?'

'You can tell your grandkids, you rode the most expensive vehicle on Earth!'

"I don't know how to tell you this, but it looks like you have a brain the size of a walnut."

Life and Death

"Ok, maybe this isn't happening."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'Have you ever noticed that as you get older, your thin things get thicker and your thick things get thicker?'

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

Maternity Hospital

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"We'll have to retract that article. On of our co-authors is the night watchman."

Mice 25¢

I've always said ignorance is bliss, but what do I know?

"Some day I'll be choosing your nursing home."

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"I'm writing to mother to let her know how you're doing.Is deathbed one word or two?"

"Johnson, I need you to stop hanging around and gossiping at the sanitizer station."

"Better safe than sorry, son."

'Now watch carefully. You can learn from my mistakes.'

'This isn't any comparison to my going through menopause!'

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

Closed for winter. Reopens March 21st.

Hearse on an emergency

Weapons of Mass Comparison

"He's so used to someone carrying his files."

"You're not old. You just have more leeway to scold strangers, and their kids, and feel good about it."

"I'm getting old. My friends are starting to have kids on purpose."

A vicar looks at his in tray and out tray containing a newborn baby and a coffin