Tech Store Employee Gifts

"Proper I.Q. required"

Sale! Weed Whackers

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'We have a P-O-P display for our new perfume. Can we move the beef jerky down a smidge?'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

Customer help - jargon talking i-diot.

"Ruddy AI. Bad enough to be replaced by a computer, never mind a COFFEE MAKER."

I'd rather be phishing.

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

Musk's Twitter

"We've been hacked by our enemies! Is there anyone who know something about computers?"

'Super size me!!'

SF NO

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"Are you George or his AI replacement?"

'Hi, your IT section sent me to test the network sockets.'

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

'Do you have any duck tape?'

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"