Tech Department Employee Gifts

Pocket protectors...

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"In my old job we were encouraged to run fast and break things."

"Was that my pager or yours?"

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

'You're hired, but remember, you can be replaced by a machine...believe me.'

S.S.dot.com

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Fact amnesty"

'No no Mr. Peters, you are not being outsourced. You are being virtualised in 'the cloud'.'

"It's not your phone service... you're talking into a spring roll."

"Oh, Him? That's our IT guy."

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"Let me through, please. I know what the letters C.P.R. stand for."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

"What the hell sort of convenient new feature is this?"

"Whoa - not so fast! I've got to check your browsing history first..."

'I got a job working for Google Earth.'

Google signwriter.

I'd rather be phishing.

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

Home for the Holidays

"Hang on. . . I think I've got an app for that."

Huawei Five-O

"My heavens, Bentley ... we've found it. A Silicon Valley headquarters without a slide."