Tech-savvy Spender Pillows

'Between direct deposit, automatic payments, and credit cards, I haven't seen any money in years.'

Exit. I don't use cash anymore. All my transactions are electronic. For the first time in my life I can say "money is no object."

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

"Yes, I now use my phone as my wallet. How did you know?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

The Digital Family

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Bread, milk, cereal, sugar, sausage, potatoes, beans, biscuits. Click! So easy, but I do miss the sexy till lady.'

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

"We're so proud. Only 5 months old and already knows how to scroll and swipe."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

"So that's two votes for save and one for delete."

"Fresh pepper?"

"I figure we can blue-screen the kids in later."

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

Laptops

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

'It's a book, Sweetie - it doesn't have any ram!'

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'