Tech-savvy Senator Gifts

'If you want to keep up with technology, Senator, you need a reelection platform in 140 characters or less.'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"A virus ate my homework."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

Silver Surfer.

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

"I've gone electric, you should be too!"

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Did you try 'Google'?'

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

"Raise your right hand and swear on the tablet..."

'The jury and our computers find the defendant guilty.'

Why destroy Carthage? Just offer them coalition government!

The walking frame for the mobile immobile.

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

"We're running late. Skip the brief, just give me the tweet."

"OMG! 12 followers already...this thing could go viral."

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

The elderly found the new remote control much easier to use.

Screenior citizen

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"