Tech-savvy Ruler Pillows

'The King is in his counting house.'

Cord cutter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

"That's right, it's @kingphilbert3rd... Yeah, with a P-H... That's him, yep, now tap "follow"..."

"A virus ate my homework."

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"But rather than me just sitting here talking, why don't we watch this video of me sitting here talking?"

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'My teacher said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

''The Thinker' is an outdated concept.'

Businessman has in/out boxes labeled 'OPS' and APPS.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Childhood Screen Addict

Go on! Pick a card.

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'I want you to text message 100 times, 'I will not text message in class.''

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

"Can you hurry up? My Uber will be here in 3 minutes."

"Now remember this formula, it's going to be on the test."

The Blogger.

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

Internet Search- Find God

'My teacher has said my penmanship has really improved since I started doing my homework on an inkjet printer.'

Spell Checker

"Actually no mum, I haven't made lots of new friends."

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

Modern Jester

Zeus recharges lightening bolts.

'I'll need your username and password...'